Who Cut the Cheese?
Headshot of Sir Fluff
No. 09 · SIR FLUFF
Case file no. 009  ·  Suspect profile

Sir Fluff

a.k.a. His Royal Fluffiness

"Cats do not do such things. I am leaving now."

Known for
Magnificent fluff, an air of superiority
Natural habitat
The highest shelf, the warmest sunbeam
Favourite food
Fish. Fancy fish. In a little dish.
Signature alibi
Slowly blinks, then walks away
Background check

The history

Sir Fluff believes he is descended from royalty, and nobody in the family has ever had the courage to tell him otherwise. He accepts food, chin scratches and the comfiest cushion as his rightful due.

He maintains that cats never fart. (They do.) He has never once been accused to his face, because the moment anything smells funny he gives a long slow blink, stands up, and leaves the room with his tail held high, as if the whole thing is beneath him.

His preferred move is to blame Biscuit with a long, cold stare. It works more often than it should.

14Royal titles claimed
0Royal titles confirmed
Every single timeTimes he blamed the dog
Evidence locker

Caught on camera

Sir Fluff
EXHIBIT A · THE LIVING ROOMRoyalty does not explain itself.
Sir FluffBUSTED!
EXHIBIT B · THE SCHOOL BUSHow did the cat get on the bus?!
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